By : Al-Anoud Sarhan

24/8/2011

“The truth is what we’re doing is silent comedy. Voilà! We made Chaplin proud! ”

Pretty theatrical for a modern relationship where both partners are adult, open-minded, competitive individuals. That was the end of the last pitiful fight between me and prince charming. The stage couldn’t handle anymore quarrels! I have read all about relationships and studied cosmopolitan magazine by heart, hence, I no longer think of my issue as a new phenomenon.

Throughout the relationship i have been the one to roll the dice, I made the first move when i spotted him at a colleague’s farewell party trying to untie his cravat. Standing right behind him where the strawberry tarts inspired me to eat one of them then brush it  off my hands (while I was literally clapping) .He turned towards me and smiled, later I asked him out for a drink. We started going out more frequently and soon enough i discovered that i fell head over heels for him, the presents, dinners, the endless whispers, it all went perfectly. Macrocosmic sympathy? I don’t know, but finding that one and only made me believe in love again…

But there was one problem… I didn’t know i was the other woman…

It’s a love triangle, and believe it or not, it torments him as much as it torments me .i felt her presence between us, but I didn’t know how to explain his silence, his temper. He was scatterbrained and the guilt was unveiled eventually…he told me he’s married, but he never found a bit of happiness in that bond. With me he lived every dream; everything was right in its place. But holding my hand to his lips and kissing it goodbye was just not enough for me…

Some bonds are meant to be broken, and if I was the only thing that made sense in his lunatic life, then I won’t pull myself out of it .i love him more than enough to let go. A bond of five full years is worth fighting for.

‘’i am not asking you to live for me because you can’t and you won’t, I am asking you to hold my hand and tell me that you don’t care what the mornings bring and whatever the seasons end. I want to be your eve, your heroine in a state of mysticism and indifference. I want to be the woman who makes you dinner in the evening, the woman you’d long to taste and breathe and conquer when the lights fade out. I want you to promise me a new day when our bodies depart secretly; no matter how long, how verbose, and how deploring. I want you to embrace me and ease the pain of my shoulders, as i promise to be your Atlas, and lift the burdens of life off your weary shoulders. I want you to know that you mean the world to me and i can’t…i can live without you but i don’t want to. I want to be your home, your friend, your companion. I want to be your wife till death do us apart. I want to dedicate my all, everything i own and everything i am to you. I want you to believe that you and i may be two separate shadows, yet we share the same breath, same orbit, and same skin. I want you to know that in your darkest hours i will be the glimpse of hope …i want to be the riddle you long to solve, I want to be yours!

I want you to be the man who captivated me again! I want you to be my man! ‘’

It suddenly dawned on me what i had written. I forgot I was the other woman…I wanted him to say that despite everything I was the first to make him feel loved and special, not her. She has the ring, but I have him, forever…and ever…and ever..

Alas! As if waiting for Godot…

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